Joining the Dance – A Way to Cope with Change
In the movie, "Shall We Dance?", while his life was falling apart, the main character discovers an unexpected passion for dancing that helps him start a new life.
By Kay Sexton, Contributor
Change is the only constant…
Even if in a different way, today – both as humanity and as individuals – we are asked to cope with humongous changes.
How best to cope with these challenges and turn our weaknesses into new strengths. Shall we join the dance?
Dealing with the pandemic – we’ve all got to do it, but how? We’ve lived through disruption, fear, difficulty, stress, and loss and as the problems continue into 2021, we’re also experiencing exhaustion and fatigue, endless worries for our loved ones and turbulence at work, school and home.
We all know that change is inevitable – although when it happens to us we don’t usually enjoy or appreciate it. Just think of the last decade and the rate of change and trends that emerged. Change is not new, however this time our current state of disruption is unparalleled. How do we learn to thrive and even enjoy the process?
“Growth and comfort do not coexist.” Ginni Rometty
We can begin by seeing change as opportunity rather than threat. This requires a new mindset, one that moves us from protecting ourselves from the storm to protecting ourselves in the storm, and maybe even learning to enjoy the storm itself! What does that look like in practice?
The chance to change
Our ‘natural’ response tends to be to ignore or avoid. We might work harder, watch more TV, open another bottle of wine or buy another gadget to distract us from our discomfort. These are coping mechanisms and they may be valuable as we adjust. But if we can reframe opportunity as a healthful chance to learn something new, read a demanding book, undertake some DIY or art activity, volunteer for a meaningful project or spend time with family, we develop ourselves, deepen our growth and get a second chance at things we thought had passed us by. This is the bedrock of adaptability definition – leaning into what life throws at us, rather than fighting or ignoring it.
How true this is! We love the change we love, but we hate the change we hate! When we want things to change it can’t happen fast enough and when we don’t want things to change, we resist to the point of closing our eyes and sticking our fingers in our ears so we can’t see what’s happening around us.
Image credit: Clem Onojeghuo
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
Alan WattsBritish-American Philosopher & Writer
Bingeing a Netflix show or getting hooked on scrolling news can make us feel as if we’re doing something but they are simply ways of distracting ourselves from the opportunities that surround us, if only we look for them. We can choose to hunt out, or ignore opportunities for adaptability.
And it’s not just COVID-19 that forces us to change: climate change, technological advances, elections… they all create changes that we can view as disruption or opportunity, depending on our mindset. Adaptability is the hallmark of success in this area. Animals that don’t evolve fast enough to cope with their changing environment will become extinct, people who don’t find their feet in new circumstances get left behind.
So how do we join the dance?
First we acknowledge and accept the coping phase. Then we can choose to lean into the change by locating the opportunities within it, and focusing our energy on them, rather than on distractions from them. Finally, we can remember to look ahead, even if we can’t see what the future will look like, a belief that it will contain as many opportunities as losses allows us to transcend our fears and find our feet in the dance.
